I'm Back!

So, I've neglected this blog for almost a year (shame on me!), but now I'm back since there are things actually happening in my life!

Back in March, I was promoted to Assistant Store Manager at my bookstore.  As of yesterday, I am now the Store Manager!  Holy cow!!  I am excited and nervous and proud all at once.

Tonight I am getting a road bike!

In a little over a week, I will be running in my first 5k!

SO MANY THINGS!!! (which all require exclamation points)

The thing that I really want to talk about is my new-found love of athletics.  Back in January, I had my yearly lady check-up.  I decided to weigh myself before I went so there would be no surprises (also, they always give it to you in kilos, which I never remember how to convert, and by the time I get home, I've forgotten about it).  A whopping 208 pounds!! 

I have never been a skinny girl.  As a child I was normal, but when I hit puberty, I got thick.  From then on, I have had a horrible, terrible, nasty, mean relationship with my body.  Not only was I never very athletic, but I would yo-yo around on diets.  The guilt I would feel over food was tremendous, and I would stand in front of the mirror and just rip on myself.  Kids in high school would say mean things, things that still rattle around in my head to this day.  When I went to college, I started to do a bit of running for my PE class.  After I became severely depressed, I moved back home and the running stopped.  Since then, it's been more yo-yo dieting and more yo-yo exercising.  I wanted to change my body, but I couldn't seem to commit.

Well, after that weigh-in in January, I said, "No mas."  I cut out soda completely.  I started doing workout DVDs, then using the apartment fitness center, then jogging outside in the park.  The more I ran, the more I loved it.  I use My Fitness Pal to track my exercise and nutrition (it's free and it's awesome!).  I decided to develop a healthy relationship with food, meaning that I started to view food as nourishment and not the enemy.  I allowed myself to have treats and crappy days, as long as the majority of the time I was eating well.  The most important thing was tracking what I ate.  I started to see patterns, like if I didn't eat breakfast I would binge later in the day.  I also finally realized how much I was eating. 

In March for my birthday, Randall and my family all pitched in and bought me a mountain bike (a real one, not a Kmart one), and that opened up a whole new world for me.  I became obsessed with cycling (in a good way).  If you want, cycling can be a minimal investment.  All you need is a good bike and a helmet.  Or you can be me and be a crazy person.  The more I cycled, the more I appreciated the gear--shorts with padding are a must, cycling jerseys have a bajillion pockets for a reason, and the right shoes will improve your ride tenfold.  Did I invest in cycling?  Hell yes.  But I was also investing in me, in something I was passionate about, in my health.  And now I'm getting a road bike.  I want to commute to work more, to do group rides, maybe even someday a little triathlon. 

I liked seeing the scale go down each week, but it became less about the weight and more about what I could accomplish--running a mile, cycling longer and faster.  Do I still want to lose more weight?  Hell yes.  But I'm enjoying testing and pushing myself.  I like that I can say I'm an athlete more than I would like to say I'm a certain size.

I am now down 20.4 pounds, to 187.6.  My goal is 165 pounds, and someday, I'll get there.  This is a process, a long, hard process.  As my boss likes to say, "Diamonds aren't made in the mud."  So get unstuck and put yourself under some pressure. 

Happy July everyone, sorry it's been awhile.  I have much to report.

Daybreak Shawl

I accomplished most of my knitting projects in June: a pair of socks, a hat, and two shawls.  I have most of my sweater vest complete, I just can't seem to get motivated to finish it.  For July, I am planning on at least two pair of socks and maybe a pair of fingerless mitts.  Maybe I'll get around to the vest, but I promise nothing.

Mairead Hat, in Another Crafty Girl Squishy Aran in Poppy

My notable June cooking endeavors included fried ravioli and a glazed lemon blueberry bread.  I also made two different peach cream pies.  In July I'm thinking a berry pie would be delicious (warm, with vanilla ice cream...yum).

Lemon Blueberry Bread, pre-glazing

My garden exploded this past month!  My lettuces are just about ready to harvested, my carrot tops are nice and bushy, the radishes are sprouting, and I have plenty of beans and peas growing.  My herbs are all doing well, except for the cilantro which has gone to flower.  I love having a little garden on my balcony, and knowing that the food I'm eating is home-grown and organic.  Once I've pulled the greens, I'll plant another round, and once those are done, I'll do root vegetables (parsnips, turnips, more carrots). 

And on a personal note, I'm burned out.  I'm burned out on work and hating people and hating myself and keeping up appearances and uncontrollable events.  July is my month of independence: I paid off my dental loan and my credit cards this month.  I should be excited, and I kind of am, but I'm also scared.  Now I'm going to have all this money available to me and the opportunity to get a new credit card and I don't want to mess it all up again.  I want to be responsible with my money now, but I'm scared of this freedom.  I've spent the past several years struggling financially and now that it's done, I'm exhausted.  If I can give advice to anyone, it would be: don't get sucked into the whole consumerism thing.  Yes, we all need to spend money to keep the economy going, but the lines society feeds us about needing the newest gizmo or car or clothes or makeup or whatever are all LIES.  In the end, trying to make yourself happy with objects will only make you more unhappy.  Don't base your worth on what you possess.  What matters in life are your character and your relationships, so put away your credit card and spend time with your loved ones.  I learned this the expensive way.  I was brought to my knees by silly spending, and when I was down there, none of the things that I HAD to have brought me any solace.  It was then that I finally realized my value as a daughter and a friend and a wife and a woman, not as a consumer.  Now I'm off my soapbox.

Sunday is my favorite day of the week (yes, I realize that today is Tuesday).  Sunday is the one day that Randall doesn't work, and so it's the one day that I try not to work, and we actually get to spend a day together.  Other than sleeping in, we also like to do a decent breakfast (either out or I make something that isn't cereal) and do our grocery shopping.  My favorite part of my favorite day is our drive to Trader Joe's in Glen Ellyn.  Randall likes to drive on the side streets through the neighborhoods, and we each point out the houses that we like (but could never afford).  I've started making a list in my head of my "must-haves" in a house:

-A good kitchen.  "Good" does not necessarily equal "huge".  I would just like a lot of counter space and a lot of storage space.  Also a 50's turquoise refrigerator and stove.

-Big windows.  And lots of them.  Like, in EVERY room.  Closets would be excepted, if necessary.

-A room to be strictly used for knitting.  No pets allowed.

-Hardwood floors, so I never have to vacuum again.

-LAND.  Lots of land for growing food and raising various animals.

-A claw-foot bathtub.

None of that's too much to ask, right?

Speaking of Trader Joe's...they have the most AMAZING cookies ever, Maple Leaf Cookies.  They're shaped like leaves, have a cream center, and smell like pancakes.  They're just so perfectly...Canadian.  Love.

Happy June!

Hooray, it's June!  I don't have any particular fondness for June generally, but this time, it's a fresh start.  And what a beautiful day for a fresh start it is! I have lots of pictures for this post; even though it's only 11:30 in the morning, I've been a busy bee.

I have a few knitting projects planned for this month, and because I finished my May ones with time to spare, I got a jump start on my June projects.  I'm about 75% done with a sweater vest for myself, and nearly halfway done with a sock.  I would also like to make a shawl, and maybe get started on some Christmas knitting (yes, it's time to start thinking about that!).

Hermione's Everyday Socks in SweetGeorgia Yarns Tough Love Sock in China Doll

I also baked a pie this morning.  Believe it or not, this is my first pie of 2011!  I made a cherry pie as a good bye treat for two very dear coworkers, Jen and Brian, who are both leaving for bigger and better things.  I used a different crust than I normally do, and while I think it's going to taste good, it was very crumbly to work with.  I think after this I'll stick with the crust I usually use.

Rosemary, Cilantro, and Thyme

This past weekend I helped set up a garden of tomatoes, peppers, cucumber and eggplant at my parents' house.  This morning I worked a bit on my own garden.  My balcony is pretty decently sized, so there's plenty of room for containers.  I have two window boxes of herbs, two pots with bush beans, one pot with peas, one pot with a pepper plant, a cedar planter with greens, and of course, a pot with cat grass.

Oregano and Basil

Carrots, Spinach, Arugula, Green Ice Lettuce, Bibb Lettuce

Orange Bell Pepper

Tom Thumb Peas

 

 

 

I have another window box that I need a hanger for, but I would like to put sage, mint, and lavender in that one.  I also want some hanging baskets of flowers, and then I'll have a little garden paradise right outside my door!

Besties

I just have to say, having a friend who you can share everything with makes or breaks life.  I am blessed to have such a friend, more of a soul mate really, someone who takes me as I am and loves me anyway.  Sarah, I love you and I can't thank you enough for never giving up on me.  You're my rock and my sanity!

Really quick before I head off to bed, a May knitting update:

Horrible sweater is still horrible.

Socks are FINISHED as of 5 minutes ago!

 

 

 

Cotswold Socks in Dream in Color Smooshy in Happy Forest

I also finished a sweater that I had started back in February.  This has been seamed up and basically finished for about three months.  All I had to do was pick up and knit the neck band, which I finally got around to doing today. So, as of today, I have six sweaters done of my "11 Sweaters in 2011" self-challenge.

Phinny Sweater in Berroco Vintage in Dried Plum and Sloe Berry

Still here...

So I didn't get raptured yesterday, which is good, because now I get to put all my post-apocalyptic (read: crafting) skills to use. Huzzah!

I finished my May green sweater (I'm still working on the socks, but I have time), and I have to say...I HATE IT.  $72 on yarn and 3 weeks of my life and it is something I will NEVER wear.  The back is cute, I like the back.  But the front!  The way the lace stretches over my boobs makes them look saggy, and then the placement of the gathers under the bust is horrible, because two big folds come right out of my now-saggy boobs.  The whole sweater is too short, which is bad news because it hits me in my thickest spot, my poochy tummy.  From the front, I look blah, just a woman in a too-short sweater with deflated breasts, but from the side...oh lordy, the side!!  This sweater instantly put at least 50 pounds on me. So frustrated!!!

On the plus side, I joined a knitting group this week, and I LOVE IT!!  It was my first ever knitting group, and I'm so happy I went because everyone is soooooooooo nice.  We're meeting again next week, and I can't wait.

My back seems to be better, I am still being careful with it though.  My upper respiratory garbage seems to be on the mend too.  I'm still coughing a bit (but it's productive) and I'm blowing my nose less.  Now all I feel is completely exhausted and achy.

I won't pass judgment on the guy that was predicting the rapture (I definitely have no place telling anyone they're crazy or not), but I'm pretty sure we all knew it wasn't going to happen.  And yet, a teeny voice in my head said, What if it does?  I mean, every idea that we accept as truth now (the world is round, it spins around the sun, giant dinosaurs once roamed the earth, gravity, the existence of germs and viruses, etc) was once thought of as crazy. Anyway, it got me thinking about endings and death in general and I kind of (well, more than kind of) felt anxious.  What if I don't get done everything that I want to get done??  There's too much too knit, too many books to read, too many things to do!  This why I make notebooks full of lists.  It's a control thing.  At least I can bring some semblance of order and control to a life that is completely uncontrollable. If I can't get everything done, at least I can make sure I get done a few things.

With all this in mind, I am very excited to hang out with the Bloomies tonight and stuff my face with pizza.  Pizza and foosball and kick-ass coworkers fix everything, right?